|Linux == Mafia| - 18.05.2000

Well, the title is not exactly correct, the linux COMMUNITY is a FORM of mafia. In a sense. Kind of. Lets look at the structure, and I'll explain what I mean.

At the top of the food chain you always have a Don, a Leader, a Padrino. (The food chain I mean of course is the mob structure, NOT the one you learned about in your highschool biology class.) In the Linux world, that man is Linus Torvalds (or should I call him Don Torvalds? Yes, I know I didn't use his actual homepage, I figured we were going for information instead of just personal homepages. I'm sure he gets enough hits on his own, he doesn't need my link:), the creator, builder, molder. General characteristics of a Don usually include a strong sense of family with those of actual blood, a strong sense of unity with those of same purpose, and a certain amount of ruthlessness, to get what has to be done, done. Linus is often said to be very family oriented (he apparently adores his daughters Patricia Miranda and Daniela), obviously he has a strong sense of unity with the linux community, and lets face it, you've gotta hear clanging between your legs if you decide to take on the huge task of writting an OS and then releasing it for free, so he's got the ruthless genes. His Consigliere? ...I bet you thought Tux was a pure figment of someone's imagination. A Padrino also tends to come from a foreign country, although typically this would be Sicily, we'll take Finland, for it sounds just as devious.

Ok, a strong leader does not a mob make, next down you've got the Right hand men, the Caporegime, the crew bosses. In this case Eric S. Raymond and Richard M. Stallman, would be them. The job of the Caporegime is to lead the individual crews that do most of the work, and they don't really report to anyone except the Don himself (although in most cases they aren't required to unless something important comes up). ESR and RMS do this, and just like a mafia Caporegime, they may have varying views of how things should be done and run, but when push comes to shove, they are all on the same side. Think of it more as an in family squabble then a actual rift between the people. These are the people who get the things done when the Don is too busy dealing with his own higher worries, and ESR and RMS do get things done. (A side note, Capos also tend to have strange middle names, although ESR and RMS' middle names might not seem strange, the fact that they are prominently known including their middle name seems more than suspect.)

We now skip down to the bottom of the chain. (Not to trivialize everyone in between, their work is the work of gods, their code pounded night and day for years on end is not to be overlooked, I just don't want to have to take up more of your time then possible.:) at the very bottom of the food chain lie those that I refer to simply as the screamers. These people, the equivalent of your standard punk, hood and two bit hustler, don't really know what they are talking about. They don't know much about what they do, but they've seen other people do it, and they're sure they can too. Just like their mob counterparts they are usually young, (although not a rule), lack education (either in street smarts or coding), and don't have much to say but insults, except amongst their own kind where they will brag to no end, telling stories which even a seasoned member would find incredible.

There are also a various general assortment of things that seem to indicate mafia ties in the Linux community. Although not following the "law" as laid down by the government, the Mafia does have its own set of rules that are adhered to, where as although not following the "rules" set down by the software industry the linux community has its own set of "laws" (GPL etc) that are adhered to. The police are hard on Mafia people who step out of line, the mafia themselves are harder, the same can be said about Microsoft, the linux community, and (f)lamers. The mafia has certain locations (Restaurants, Bars, casinos) that are reputed to be "mob places", places where they can hang out amongst their brethern, discuss their business and relax, even if they are not specifically labeled "A mafia location". The linux community also has these places, Slashdot.org and Userfriendly being the first two to spring to mind, which although they don't specifically say they are a Linux location, are heavily Linux friendly.

Obviously, Linux has some (so far obscured) ties with the Mafia\Mob, I haven't mentioned all possiblities in this particular piece of work, I've only laid the ground work for a further investigation by others, but for now, I better go, I'm sure I've divulged to much and soon people will be greping through my brain matter as I lay dead in a ditch somewhere.